New Yorkers for Companion Animals
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Perhaps one of the most overused and deceptive expressions in modern English language is the "seeking of the right" dog, cat, job, school, man, woman, house or whatever else current human culture holds valuable and "desirable."
We are a culture obsessed with the "right" acquisitions the "right" appearances, the "right" pets and the "right" winnings or achievements. But, are we obsessed with the right things to do ?
When it comes to pets, we are besieged with articles, books and tabloid news trailers advertising, The Right Dog or Cat for You."
But, what exactly is the "right" pet for us? Who defines what a "right" or wrong pet is for us? Animals breeders, The AKC, various "experts" or culture itself?
Is there really no such thing as "the right pet for us?" Is it all an illusion, wishful thinking or the results of advertising that somehow dictate to us what we should "want" and what we "need?" What about our own hearts? What about a desire to simply share and give rather than seeking an acquisition or possession?
Yesterday a woman called us seeking a "companion dog." I described for her some of the wonderful dogs New Yorkers for Companion Anim als has for adoption, but the woman interrupted me saying she was looking for a small dog no more than 10 lbs, "You know, a companion dog," the woman repeated. I told her a companion dog could be anything from a Chihuahua to a Great Dane. "Those who have big dogs would be miffed to hear that their dogs are not companion dogs," I added.
A companion dog is not, after all, defined by size, color, breed or other appearance anymore than a human companion is defined by race, nationality or looks. It is the special relationship we develop either with our pets or human friends that defines the companionship in any association.
Likewise, the "right" dog or cat for us is not defined by breed, type, size, age or appearance, but rather what we as individuals are willing to put into that relationship in terms of time, effort, patience, learning, empathy and love. It is doing the right thing, rather than acquiring the right thing that ultimately spells happiness or disappointment in life, whether we are talking animals, people or anything else.
This past weekend the world witnessed the marriage of Prince Charles to Camilla Parker Bowles. But, didn't this Prince of England marry "the right woman" more than 20 years ago? Princess Diana may have been the "right" woman in terms of long Royal family tradition, appearances and cultural values. But, she wasn't the right woman for this man as she was never in his heart. Someone else was. And while a popular princess seemed to have it all in terms of money, world admiration, wonderful children and every luxury known to man, she never had the love or attention of her husband. It took 35 years to undo this mistake and make things finally right. But, not without tragedy and unnecessary suffering first.
We cannot let others define for us what we want and need.
Some weeks back, the popular program, "60 Minutes" did a report on a group of Nomadic people in Indonesia who escaped the Tsunami without casualty or death. These people spend most of their lives moving from different islands via boats. They had little possessions and were entirely tuned into the environment and waters around them. They somehow "knew" when the Tsunami was going to hit and moved to higher grounds, thereby escaping the wrath and destruction of the Tidal wave. What was most revealing in the report, was that "the word, 'want' does not exist in these peoples' language."
But, the word, "want" very much exists in modern Western languages even when it comes to the animals we invite into our homes.
We want, we need, we desire. But, perhaps the more important questions we should ask are what is it we have to give? How do we connect to the world around us, its people, the environment and the animals?
Ultimately, it is the stirrings in our own hearts which tell us which is the "right" dog, cat or person for us. It is those who inspire or move us to give of ourselves.
It is doing the right thing, rather than seeking it in something or someone else, which ultimately constitutes our happiness whether with the animals in our lives or the people.
Create and discover your own values. Don't let others create them for you. The "right" dog or cat is waiting for you at the nearest pound, on the nearest street corner or from the closest rescue group. If you are a patient person capable of giving, learning and sharing then the "right" pet is the one "mo" falls on when doing "eenie, meenie, miney, mo."
Forget about what the "experts" tell you, you should "want and seek." Listen to your heart and it will guide you.
Patty Adjamine
Director,
New Yorkers for Companion Animals.